You'll Never Guess What I Found at the Bottom of the Grand Nipples...

"The best way to spot animals around Yellowstone is to look for stopped cars by the side of the road."

These words, uttered to me by a fellow spectator taking pictures of the nearby bison herd, echo in my head as I traverse the lower half of Yellowstone National Park. After all, I must stay alert if I am to fulfill my destiny.

You see, some things in life are meant to be.

Mother Theresa was put on earth to help the lepers.

Columbus was predestined to stumble upon America.

Steven Seagal was meant to spend the latter stages of his career costarring with rappers in bad movies.

And I still believe I am fated to one day see a moose.

But as I exit Yellowstone National Park and enter into the Grand Tetons, my confidence begins to waver.

Some cars are pulled over to the side of the road, but they are merely viewing a waterfall. The waterfall is picturesque, as are the Grand Tetons (did I mention "teton" is French for "nipple?"), but it is hard to appreciate either with my moose spotting quest still unfulfilled.

After all, moose don't exactly multiply as you head south. And I am currently heading south...right towards those cars pulled over to the side of the road...where tourists are taking pictures of...

Moose!

Not one, but two moose. Or meese, as we experts often refer to them.

I could go on and on about the cultural significance and groundbreaking repercussions of this find. I could write about the most influential moose sightings in history. I could research the history of moose and provide the information here. Frankly, I could write a book about the culmination of my illustrious quest to spot the elusive creature that is the great American moose.

But that would only serve to make you jealous.

So instead, I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.


So there you have it. I was overwhelmingly victorious in my journey to find moose.

Now if I can just discover the definitive universal meaning of life, I'll be batting a thousand.