Old Faithful Makes a Porno

Excited about having seen a bison, but disappointed that I was unable to get closer to it, I decide to head to Old Faithful. That couldn't possibly let me down; at least it implies so with its name.

Here are some interesting (depending on your definition of the word "interesting") myths about Old Faithful from the Yellowstone newspaper:

(Note: Each of these is considerably more amusing if you add "That's what she said" to the end.)

+ It erupts every hour on the hour.

+ Its eruption is not as high as it used to be.

+ Its eruption lasts less time than it used to.

+ Park rangers can control Old Faithful's eruption.

The last one doesn't work nearly as well as a euphemism, but it does demonstrate that park employees were asked by enough tourists to turn the geyser on and off that they felt the need to clarify the situation in print.

Speaking of humorous warnings, this sign was posted at the geyser entrance. Apparently, they are being serious.Old Faithful erupts every ninety minutes or so on average, so it doesn't take long for me to see the geyser in action. It's a pretty powerful natural force, and draws a steady stream of spectators to the nearby bleachers. Like most wonders of nature, it loses its appeal after a couple minutes and most tourists move on to the next site.

For the record...If you ever find yourself visiting Yellowstone with a spouse, it is generally a bad idea to refer to him or her as "Old Faithful." That's the type of joke that leads to an expensive ceremony for forced vow renewals.

Not far down the road from my bison sighting, I see a few cars stopped in the middle of the road. Blocking their way is a whole herd of bison.

Jackpot.

No bison or cameramen were injured during the making of the following pictures:

Now that's more like it.

I'm pretty sure that bird is the "butch" in that relationship.

It would be in poor taste to make the comment, "I sure hope that's a feeding bison calf and not an overzealous pygmy bison." That's why I'm not going to make that comment.

No moose. But the bison herd was a pretty great consolation prize.

Check in tomorrow to hear about my transition from Yellowstone to the Grand Tetons, which of course is French for "Grand Nipples."

Seriously.

Look it up.

Happy Halloween.