I Found Nemo

Montana is roughly 100 times the size of Rhode Island, yet more people live in Rhode Island than in the entire giant state of Montana. I think this is because East Coast elitists are afraid of big skies. Montanans, on the other hand, are afraid of very little. Not only do wild animals not scare them, they actually pursue the giant creatures that roam the rural terrain.

Hunting is huge in Montana, so much so that during a gathering, my relatives chose to watch hunting on television. Let me just say, for the record, that the next great television personality will not come from a hunting show. These guys dish out high fives faster than Puddy on Seinfeld.

My cousin Shane wanted to share the beauty and splendor of the Montana outdoors, and after silently noting that I was about as likely to become a deer hunter as I was to play Russian Roulette, he invited me to go fishing on his boat in a nearby lake.

It turns out Shane's small fishing boat can really fly, and as we pull away from the shore, he cautions me to prepare for a swift ride.

"Hold on to your hat," he yells with a smile.

I laugh, noting his delightful colloquialism and enjoying the increasing breeze. Of course, not ten seconds later, the wind catches my hat and sends it sailing into the water behind us. How annoying. If only I'd been given a proper warning.

The bad news is that my hat will be soaked for the duration of the trip.

The good news is that, regardless of my fishing skill from here on out, I know that I have at least caught something with Shane's fishing net.

It turns out, I'm not so bad a fisherman after all, as my hat is soon replaced by a trout, which you can see by the picture to the left, is the most glamorous fish in existence.

That trout is soon followed by another trout, only this one is gigantic. I know it doesn't look huge in the picture, but what would you say if I told you that the tackle box in the background was the length of three football fields and that the hand you see is none other than the Hand of God reaching down from the Heavens to pat me on the back for catching such a gigantic fish? Shane estimated that it weighed well over a pound.

Fishing is pretty easy when you have a boat, technology that monitors the depth of the lake and at what depth the fish are currently swimming, and an experienced fisherman helping you out because you threatened to ruin his good name in your blog if he didn't catch you some fish.

But fear not, we release each fish we catch back into the water so the dumb things can live to be caught another day.

After all, our fishing expedition isn't about catching fish as much as it is about catching up with family. And even though the biggest fish we hook (Shane guesses it to weigh at least ten lbs. while I insist I've finally found my white whale) gets away by catching our lure on the botttom of the lake, the entire trip is an absolute joy thanks to Shane.

As a true Montanan, Shane loves hunting. He loves fishing. He loves the serenity of a day spent in the great outdoors. But most of all, he loves people.

"I love showing visitors a good time. I never get a chance to leave Montana, so its rare that we get to see family from out of state, but I would love to spend more time doing stuff like this," he shares on the way back. "The meaning of life, to me...What's important to me, is that I have the respect of the people I care about. "