The Megalomaniac Always Gets the Girl

Park City, Utah is a popular vacation destination and second home location for well-to-do skiers and film enthusiasts. The town hosts the Sundance film festival every year and offers fantastic skiing for people who don't mind spending seven figures for below average houses.

"Now that Aspen has been taken over by the billionaires," Ron tells me, "Park City is where all of the millionaires come."

The town has a real friendly vibe, with quaint little cottages stretching across the smooth mountains. The main street provides a timeless string of jewelry stores, restaurants, and art galleries.

Among my favorite stores to browse through are the photo gallery of a world famous wildlife photographer and an art house which features intricate Native American baskets made by the family of Mary Black, a woman whose work is featured in the Smithsonian and whom has recently been labeled a "national treasure."

This information caused Ron and Polly to further admire the woman's work. It caused me to ponder just how one becomes labeled as a "national treasure." Is there such a label as "international treasure?" Are people who share the distinction "national treasure" universally offended by the ridiculous Nicholas Cage movie of the same name?

If I were ever named a "national treasure" for my work in sarcastic blogging (preferably American, but I'd take any country) I'm pretty sure I'd waste the honor with my lack of humility. After all, what's the point of being a "national treasure" if you couldn't brag about it?

I'd probably just end up using it as a pick-up line. You know, something like:

"Hey gorgeous. Have you ever been with a 'national treasure' before? No? Well, today's your lucky day."

or:

"You're so beautiful you should be declared a 'national treasure.' Then we'd have something in common."

or the classic:

"The Smithsonian just named me a 'national treasure.' Some say it was for my work as a blogger for underprivileged youth. Others say it's because of my mastery in the bedroom. I'd like to get your opinion."

Come to think of it, being declared a "national treasure" is probably not something I need to concern myself with anytime soon.

Just in case, here's a groundbreakingly artistic picture of me in Park City with a transvestite moose statue for the Smithsonian's consideration.