Why Would Walker Tell Him That?

Thanks to the tireless work that goes into this blog, we now know that the meaning of life has absolutely nothing to do with pogs, puns, cow-tipping, or the movie Gigli. Eliminating certain possibilities as the meaning of life has been life-affirming for many of you, I'm sure, but it's time to once again focus on items that I'm not yet ready to rule out as the meaning of life.

The following are aspects of life that just may hold the key to our existence:

+ The unconditional love of a cherished family pet.

+ Ragging on your friends. I've won my fantasy football league three years running, a feat which impresses absolutely nobody. However, my best friend's girlfriend joined the league last year and beat him in the playoffs. For Christmas, I bought her a custom pink shirt that said, "My boyfriend sucks at fantasy football." The look of horror on his face when she opened the gift was almost certainly existentially relevant.

+ Homemade blackberry jam made by my great uncle and aunt Ray and Lavetta.

+ Being there for someone who needs you.

+ Beer. To quote the great Homer Simpson, it is "the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

+ Bad dancing. I think this ranks ahead of good dancing. If you disagree, head out with some good friends and do the robot, running man, macarena, and shopping cart all night long. If you don't enjoy yourself, I once again point you to beer.

+ Early morning Sportscenter the day after the team you root for wins a big game. If your team lost a big game, I highly recommend avoiding sports highlights at all costs.

+ 41.

+ Amusing videos on the internet. There's millions of amazing clips to choose from, but this is my personal favorite not related to David Hasselhoff.

+ Speaking of Hasselhoff, this article rates high on the list for possible meanings of life.

+ The safety of a loved one. My aunt Dana is undergoing risky major back surgery tomorrow.

If you pray, please keep her in your prayers.

If you don't, please keep her in your thoughts.