The Blog Coffee Bean Doesn't Want You to Read

When we last left off, I was promising a man in Idaho Falls that I would write a pro-Starbucks blog, detailing their humanitarian efforts and lauding the positive aspects of a big corporation in a time when "big corporation" often carries the unspoken connotation of "big, evil corporation."

Of course, Starbucks has its share of critics, who often cite the company for questionable Fair Trade policies, anti-competitive practices, and an overpriced product. If you wish to learn more about Starbucks, I suggest you do your own research and provide yourself with a fair and balanced perspective. This blog, however, will be focused on the often under-appreciated positive aspects of the world's biggest coffee chain.

Some things to consider the next time you find yourself cursing Starbucks while standing in a line the length of two football fields to buy that five dollar frappuccino you've become addicted to:

+ Paul mentions to me that Starbucks makes a point to buy some of their coffee from third-world farmers and to spend money supporting the infrastructure in those communities by, among other practices, building hospitals and schools.

This is supported by Starbucks' web site, which touts their $500,000 contribution to improve educational and economic conditions in Western Hararghe, a rural part of Ethiopia "known for its high quality coffee."

Meanwhile, Western Omaha gets nothing.

+ In Fortune's 2008 version of "100 Best Companies to Work For," Starbucks came in an impressive seventh. Some say this may stem from the company's willingness to offer full-time benefits to employees working part-time hours. I think it's all about those sharp green aprons the baristas get to wear.

+ Starbucks gets its name from a character in Moby Dick. That's a literally allusion, which is always classy.

+ The company has made a commitment to Fair Trade practices, paying higher rates to third-world farmers than other high profile competitors. (Incidentally, critics dispute that only a small percentage of Starbucks' product is certified as Fair Trade, and many wish to see the company expand their efforts. These are the people who see their java mugs as half-empty.)

+ Starbucks has invested $5 million over five years to create the Starbucks China Education Project, which of course works to improve education in Canada.

+ They sell a brand of water called Ethos, which contributes five cents from every bottle sold to clean water projects in underdeveloped areas and raises awareness about third world clean water concerns. Of course, the children featured on the bottle can only hope to one day use their life savings to be able to afford one bottle of Ethos.

+ The chain tries to make its stores a "third place," offering comfortable seating, free electricity, and wireless internet in an effort to make customers view it as a home away from home and workplace away from work.

This is ideal for a guy who lives in his van and writes blogs every day. Starbucks is the new age library, except it smells better and you don't have to deal with all those pesky books.

+ The brand logo is of a "twin-tailed siren" from Greek mythology. The siren is topless. Beat that, Burger King.

+ The brand has made a concerted effort to project itself as culturally aware, green, and socially responsible. It recently announced a "renewed commitment to communities," outlining goals for 2015 which include: "contributing more than one million community service hours per year in communities where they do business;" "investing in a better future for farmers and their communities by nearly doubling funding to organizations that provide farmer loans;" and enacting various steps to reduce water usage and improve environmental sustainability.

I, on the other hand, have pledged to "quit forgetting to throw my diet coke cans in the recycling bin."

+ Free coffee on election day. Now that's something we can all agree on. Or not.

Tomorrow, you can stop in to your local Starbucks and get a free twelve ounce cup of brewed coffee. This was originally a reward for voters, but some people (I like to call them "assholes with far too much time on their hands") started complaining that the promotion violated election law, so the stores are "extending the offer to all customers who request a tall brewed drip."

Just know that if you do so without voting, that makes you no better than the most evil corporation of them all.

You know...

Dunkin Donuts.