Will There Be Blood?

Driving through Northern Texas, I can't help but notice the fields of oil derricks dotting the landscape. Really, it's impossible not to notice them, because that's pretty much all there is in Northern Texas.


Oil derricks. Okay, oil derricks and pregnant teenagers. But I digress.

Every time I pass another derrick, I can't help but smile. I am, after all, on my way to being an oil man myself. I'm convinced that the best job to get in order to fund the rest of Project Meaning is as a grunt on an oil rig.

According to my research, oil grunts make up to $25 an hour due to the physical demands and inherent dangers of the work involved. Even better, workers on offshore oil rigs tend to work in shifts, with a demanding two weeks at sea followed by two weeks of rest and relaxation time at home. This would work perfectly for my project.

So I mentally prepare myself for the challenge. I watch a documentary about life on an oil rig. I become a member of a web site promising inside information on the oil industry and links to the best oil jobs around. I even get weirded out when an oil rig grunt makes it into the later stages of American Idol.

But there's just one problem.

In order to be a grunt on an oil rig, you have to be hired to be a grunt on an oil rig.