They've Created a Monster

With hopes of becoming an oil rig worker dimming, I decide it is necessary to look for other work in Houston. My reasons for moving on include, but are not limited to:

+ I learn that becoming a grunt on an oil rig is about as feasible at this juncture as becoming a rock star, horse jockey, or nuclear physicist.

+ I decide any job could lead to good stories as long as I was paying attention to my surroundings and making stupid decisions (always a guarantee for good stories).

+ I check my bank account.

Now, I don't mean to be melodramatic, but the list of people with better financial portfolios than I have includes MC Hammer, Ed McMahon, and that guy you just gave a dollar to at the freeway on-ramp because you liked the cardboard sign he was holding up. My point is, beggars can't be choosers, so when I arrive to Houston, I decide to increase my options to any job that will take me.

That involves searching for work on the internet. Unfortunately, Monster.com provides me primarily with job listings that fit into one of three categories: 1) completely out of my league due to lack of experience, 2) an obvious scam, and 3) a really crappy sounding job that may or may not be a scam.

I decide to wade through the listings in category three. Almost immediately, I stumble across an ad looking for people to get into "event marketing." It sounds both professional and interesting, yet is considered entry-level and is open to all college graduates regardless of major. I call the number listed and am set up with an appointment the next day.

"Make sure to bring two copies of your resume," the woman on the phone tells me. "Oh, and the dress is business professional."

Business professional. Very classy.

I'm going to have to park the van far away from the office.