What is Burning Man?

What is Burning Man?

It's a question I asked myself many times before attending this year's event. It's also a question the organizers of the event seem reticent to answer. In fact, if you visit the frequently asked questions page on Burning Man's official site, you'll get the following response to "What is Burning Man:"

Trying to explain what Burning Man is to someone who has never been to the event is a bit like trying to explain what a particular color looks like to someone who is blind.

(Note: I like to imagine the person delivering this statement as a white man with dreadlocks who, having never been to Europe, speaks in an exaggerated British accent and takes great lengths to keep his nose upturned as he speaks, possibly to avoid his own smell.)

Personally, I do not find it so difficult explaining Burning Man.

Imagine that the Apocalypse happened.

Now imagine that only fifty thousand people had survived the Apocalypse and that all of them were confined to just five square miles of desert.

Finally, imagine that these fifty thousand people just so happen to be made up entirely of people who really wanted the Apocalypse to happen so that they could:

take copious amounts of drugs/ walk around with their genitals flapping in the wind/ hula hoop for a disturbing amount of time

while

"The Man" burns in Hell for eternity/ showers cease to be a social necessity/ onlookers gawk, mesmerized by the artistically viable movements of their bewitching hips.

Unfortunately, I made none of these realizations on my first day at Burning Man, because I was too busy worrying that the Apocalypse was actually coming.

Check in tomorrow to read about the "Dust Storm of the Century."