Van Boy, Van Boy, Whatcha Gonna Do?

"The day my son was born, it all made sense."

I nod in appreciation, not only because the statement makes sense, but also because the man saying it is a gigantic cop.

I find it best not to disagree with gigantic cops.

It's late at night and I'm hanging out in a parking lot with my van doors open. I'm on the phone with projectmeaning.com's web designer (the incomparable Brian Rayman of XM WebDesign) talking about changes to the site. Halfway through our conversation, a police car pulls up alongside the van. The officer inside motions to me.

"I'm going to have to call you back. I think I'm about to get arrested."

The police officer is a giant man. I'm almost 6'5 and about 275 lbs. and he is definitely bigger than I am. Muscular with blonde hair trimmed army style, I'm happy to notice he is smiling.

"Just a friendly visit," he assures me.

My testicles drop back down.

The officer is just curious about my project. In fact, not only does he not arrest me, he actually engages me in a long, interesting conversation with topics spanning from war to religion to conspiracy theorists to schizophrenia and its effects on homelessness.

We talk about "affluenza," the sense of entitlement people feel and the suburbanites' need to spend beyond their means.

We talk about the effect gangster glorification has had on the streets, and about how the perception that it is "cool to kill people" has made his job much harder.

We talk about a lot of things you don't expect to talk about with an on-duty police officer and though he passes on speaking on camera (the force is very controlling about the image they present) it is nice to reaffirm that some cops are normal good guys who just want to protect and serve.

"The cool thing about being a police officer is you are often the only line of defense. When someone needs help, you're the person that cares and has the resources to do something about it."

He tells me about an accident that happened the other night. An eighteen-year-old German girl was visiting the States and got hit by a car.

"This poor girl was lying there in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard and nobody stopped to help her."

Not only was the officer able to help, but he happened to speak German.

"I was able to talk to her, to let her know everything was alright and that there were people there to help her. Being able to tell her mother later that night that she was okay was part of what makes this job great."

"You have to sign my van."

Drive Safe.
Don't Speed.
It'll be there.
If not, it wasn't worth going.

I nod in appreciation, not only because the statement makes sense, but also because the man writing it is a gigantic cop.