The Thing

Let me tell you a tale
Of a thing called The Thing,
Sit back, let me regale
True terror I'll bring.

For the thing with The Thing is The Thing never rests.
It just lies there in wait so your soul It may test.

I encountered The Thing
On a trip to the East,
Unaware it would bring
A greeting from The Beast.

My friend Steve had some land
He wanted me to see.
Though the trip was not planned,
I chose to agree.


But the thing with The Thing is The Thing doesn't care
How you got to The Thing, The Thing just knows you're there.

On a long stretch of highway,
We see many signs
Each one, at least I say,
Of nefarious design.

One billboard, Two billboards,
Three billboards, then four.
Ten billboards, then still more,
Then still more, then more.

For the thing with The Thing is The Thing grabs your soul,
And there's no need to struggle, The Thing never lets go.

Exit 322
Ten minutes ahead,
Then five minutes to doom,
In one mile you're dead.

Steve shakes as he turns,
And then parks in the lot.
My mind, it still burns,
Just to think of the thought.

But the Thing with The Thing is The Thing isn't free.
Unless you're a kid It's a dollar to see.


Our wallets now lighter,
We follow It's tracks,
It's footprints much brighter,
Than It's epic attacks.

Located discreetly
In the third of three sheds,
The Thing lies in wait neatly,
Behind an army of heads.

For the thing with The Thing is The Thing's not alone,
It's by misshapen creatures that chill to the bone.



Could that be The Thing?
No it's that; No, it's this.
So many horrors soon spring,
That none can be dismissed.

A demon of wood,
A taxidermed spider,
Is there a chance The Thing could
Be a washer and dryer?





Or is It a mirror,
With knowledge to impart
Showing much clearer
The truth in your heart?

But the thing with The Thing is The Thing is alive.
A true tangible fear waits for you to arrive.


In the middle of nowhere,
The Thing lies in wait.
To know truth you must go there,
But please hesitate.

Both Steve and myself,
Have not been the same since,
For there exists no help,
Once you've seen the Dark Prince.

But the thing with The Thing is The Thing never rests.
It just lies there in wait so your soul It may test.

So if you truly are brave
And you have time to kill.
Take a dollar to It's cave.
The Thing waits for you still.