Going Postal, Part I

Among the worst places to find yourself at any given time:

+ The DMV.

+ War-torn Darfur.

+ A Nickelback concert.

+ Anywhere a Nickelback song is playing.

+ Anywhere in Darfur a Nickelback song is playing.

+ The post office.

Unfortunately, I recently find myself at one of these locales. (Hint: It's a place well known for murders and it is not in Africa.)

With a plan to get work in Houston and stay there for a couple months, I think it only fitting to get a post office box. To do this, I simply go online, find a local post office, and purchase a box over the internet, allowing me both a place to receive mail and a local address to use for my job interview the next day. It is the perfect plan...or so I think.

I am instructed to go to the post office in person to claim the box I purchased, but after waiting in line for what seems like hours, I am told that they usually require a local address to get a box.

"Why?"

"It's our policy."

"Why is it your policy?"

"It's our policy."

"Did you know they don't mention your policy online when they ask for your credit card?"

"Well, I guess we can make an exception."

"Thank you."

After going to the back to get my keys, the woman helping me comes back empty-handed. Apparently, the box I was sold already belongs to someone else.

"Can I get a different box then?"

"No, I'm sorry. I need my manager to authorize that."

"Can I get a refund?"

"We don't give refunds."

"Even when you sell me something that doesn't exist?"

"I'm sorry, but our manager is not here. If you come back tomorrow, we'll be able to help you out."

"So I have to come back tomorrow?"

"I'm afraid so."

"But if I come back tomorrow, which to be frank is a huge inconvenience because I need to get to a job interview, I can get my box with no problems?"

"Yes Sir."

"Because I don't want to come back out here only to wait in line again and get turned away."

"Come back tomorrow and we'll have a box for you."

"Thanks," I reply skeptically, fearing that this will inevitably lead to a two part blog series on the incompetence of the postal system. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."