I Would Have Paid Twice as Much for a Quality Splinter

Back in Freshman year of college, I took a trip from Ithaca to Austin in the middle of a school week.

Yes, just like in the movie Road Trip.

No, I've never met Tom Green.

This trip was purely academic, as I was in Austin with a fellow classmate for our Documentary Research class. We were there to interview an FBI crisis negotiator who worked on the infamous Branch Davidian debacle in Waco.

The interview went well, and I learned a lot. (Side note: There's a 99.9999999999999999 % chance that David Koresh was not the second coming of Christ. But if he was, we really screwed the pooch on that one.) Strangely, the thing I remember best from my trip to Austin had nothing to do with the Waco incident. It was a teenage mutant ninja turtle made of aluminum foil.

The streets of Austin were alive and well. The music scene was amazing, the people happy and outgoing, and the street vendors talented. This one kid could make almost anything out of aluminum foil. I told him to do Michelangelo (thus demonstrating my appreciation for art history, 1990's pop culture, and the bastardization of the former by the latter).

When the result was a fully functional ninja turtle, complete with nun chucks, I tipped him twenty dollars. Best money I ever spent.

Now, back in Austin for the second time, I decide to see what the area surrounding the city has to offer. Seeking a break from Walmart, I head to McKinney Falls State Park.

Will I find a foil version of Donatello there? Will McKinney Falls contain the key to the meaning of life? Will it at least have waterfalls?

Tune in soon for the (possibly) thrilling answers to these questions and more!