The unfortunate reality is that unless you are living very comfortably and/or you have a lot of time on your hands, it is really difficult to eat right. Good health has never been more expensive than it is today. If you want healthy food, it's going to cost you. On the other hand, if you choose to purchase a "heart attack on a plate," that's generally found on the value menu.
I've developed a mathematical equation to demonstrate my point:
Please note that "b" represents "massive coronaries," and NOT "massive canaries." I made that mistake once and it set me back three months on my research and $500 on newspaper to line the bottom of their cages.
The idea is that because healthy food is in demand, the price of anything nutritional and below 500 calories has skyrocketed. Since starting this project, I've been spending less on food, eating less food, and consuming more fat and calories. Living out of the van makes it hard to cook, and I'm on a very limited budget, so I find myself regularly visiting McDonald's, Wendy's, and Big Mike's House of Grease for their dollar menus.
Here's a fun game to play: Grab some friends and organize a scavenger hunt. Head to your local 7-11 and try to find a complete nutritional meal under 800 calories. Extra points if you can find a dessert without doubling your caloric intake.
If you don't have money, but have time, cooking relatively healthy meals is a possibility. But let's be honest, not everyone has time to cook every night. God help you if you find yourself among the working poor (a surprisingly high percentage of the American population). If Oprah can't find a consistent diet with all of her money, that thirty-year-old mother of three working two jobs just to pay rent has no chance. Jenny Craig? Weight Watchers? Turns out those cost money.
You could get weight loss advice from free sources, like television, but that could be counterproductive. Who's the biggest weight loss expert on television? That's right...Dr. Phil. And he's fat. That's like getting relationship advice from Michael Jackson.
There are exceptions to the rule. Those at the extreme end of poverty can't afford the dollar menu, and its hard to load up on carbs when you can't buy a pot to cook your ramen in.
The other exception, of course, comes when you're willing to purchase food that is, for lack of a better term, disgusting. If this sounds acceptable to you, it is possible to maintain a healthy diet on a working person's salary. While cruising the grocery isle for a suitable alternative to the $15 tofu sandwich advertised at the deli, I came across the following:
Potted meat. In other words, generic spam. This is a product made for the consumer who says to himself (and I'm sticking with "him"self; I'm guessing potted meat is primarily a bachelor purchase), "I like hot dogs, but I worry that they might be a little too bourgeois. Is there some sort of meat product that's a little more, I don't know, mushy? Spam, you say? No, that seems a bit too fancy for my simple tastes."
Perhaps the most disturbing aspect of the potted meat phenomena is the labeling. Notice that both potted meat brands felt the need to label the cans "Food Product." Why would they feel the need to label it as food unless they felt it necessary to clarify? It reminds me of a child's drawing, where the kid is incapable of producing a picture that accurately represents her intentions, so to relieve any doubt, she writes the name of what she just drew and points to the image. For example:
Now if I were capable of drawing a better cow, I would not feel the need to point out that it was indeed a cow. (Notice I also demonstrated the cow mooing, so as to remove all doubt). If the potted meat companies were confident they were making an edible product, I submit that they would not feel the need to label it as food. It's like they are telling me, "Sure it's food. Don't believe us? Read the label, asshole."
What's the difference between "Potted Meat Food Product" and cat food?
Cat food is more expensive.
Well, assuming the cat has an owner with a suitable income.
Posts
4 comments:
Excellent use of the quadratic formula to make a point. Also, your handwriting has not changed since the 4th grade. LEARN HOW TO GRIP A PENCIL CORRECTLY!
Nice to see the cow on the blog, but when will we see Jimmy?
That's what that is, the quadratic formula! If you payed me a million dollars to tell you what that is used for, I could not do it to save my life.
Logan, a significant underlying cause of the trend you recognize is our agricultural policy. We subsidize the hell out of corn--especially that old favorite high-fructose corn syrup, meat, and other foods that are not exactly healthy. The real price of fresh produce has been skyrocketing for decades, while the real price of the bad stuff has been dropping.
Last night I was out with some friends. We bought some burritos to take home to eat. On the way home, we ran into a homeless man who asked for some money. A friend offered him half of her burrito, and ran back into the restaurant to have it cut. While she was gone, the man turned to me and confessed he doesn't really like burritos--too fattening.
Okay - try this for a change from your dollar menu diet or that god-forsaken "potted meat food product." Go to the grocery store and buy some pita bread, carrots, (or other veges that don't need refrigeration)and tunafish. I can eat these sandwiches day after day if necessary and you don't need refrigeration. It's healthy, low calorie, low fat and inexpensive. I'm going to worry about you if you just consume the fatty fast food.
Post a Comment