Two Men Enter...

Editors Note: Though this account is constructed with truth and accuracy, names have been changed to protect the innocent. Plus, I've always wanted to write that sentence and mean it.

There are a lot of images one could reasonably associate with a man stepping out of a beat-up 1992 GMC Vandura parked outside a school playground in the middle of the day. Most of them are not pretty.

But on this particular day, that van yields a business professional, a dapper young gentleman armed with a three piece suit and a sunny demeanor. A man with a new kind of mission: A man with intents on briefly joining forces with The Man.

It is 10:20 AM, and I have parked the van across the street from a school located down the way from my job interview. With resume in hand, I glide toward the office building with a sense of purpose. Stepping through a glass door, I smile at the receptionist and give a knowing nod. She greets this with a look of dismay and directs me to the waiting room.

In the waiting room, I meet another prospective employee, a 6'5 clean shaven young man named Charles. Charles seems like a really nice guy, somebody who would be easy to work with. He also seems very professional.

I bet Charles doesn't live in his van.

This thought is interrupted by the receptionist, who continues to frown, only now does so in the doorway.

"I'm sorry," she offers. "I was supposed to tell you to get here at noon, not ten-thirty."

David, the man who had interviewed me in a nice suit earlier in the week, follows her into the room with his hand extended. Today he is considerably dressed down, sporting khakis and a blue polo shirt.

"Sorry for the mix up," he says flippantly. "If you wanna just go grab lunch or something and come back in and hour and a half, that would be great."

Charles heads to a very nice luxury automobile as I head back to the van, suit intact, and bide my time with some rousing games of minesweeper. After the allotted time, I head back to the office, where David greets Charles and me once again.

"Just so you know," David smiles, looking both of us up and down, "we only have room to hire one of you."

He pauses for dramatic effect.

"So bring your A game."

A Suitable Venture

I know two things when I leave my first job interview in Houston:

1) I've got a good shot at landing the job.

2) I've got a much better shot at landing the job in a nice suit.

Now, this leaves me feeling a bit ambivalent. Let's face it, it's kind of ridiculous to quit your job and hit the road in a van to discover the meaning of life, only to sell out for a new job at the first sign of adversity. And while I don't feel like getting a job to keep the project is really selling out, placing undue importance on said job would be.

Buying a monkey suit solely for a job interview would be the first step on that magical voyage to Selloutopia, where so many choose to settle down and they always choose to settle. But if I don't buy said monkey suit, there's always the issue of possible starvation in the near future.

So I compromise.

I buy a suit...but I buy it at Walmart.

That's right. For less than three figures, you can get reasonably nice slacks, a matching sport coat, a polo shirt, and a tie at everyone's favorite exploitative emporium.

Less than one hundred dollars, and I look like a businessman. Maybe not a very successful businessman, but my prospective employer posted the job ad on Monster.com. How discerning could they possibly be?

And so I find myself the next day parking a football field away from the office, and stepping out of my autograph laden 92 Vandura decked out in a business suit, with my resume in one hand and a wish in the other.

Time to shine.

Stay Classy, Houston.

"Make sure to bring two copies of your resume," the woman on the phone tells me. "Oh, and the dress is business professional."

Business professional. Very Classy.

I'm going to have to park the van far away from the office.

And so I do.

The project has brought me to Houston, and given my dissipating funds, I really need the marketing job I've stumbled across on Monster.com. That means the van gets parked down the street.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not willing to lie to get the job. But I'm not going to go out of the way to advertise that I'm living in a van either. When I step out of the van, I look good. I am wearing black slacks with a long-sleeved black business shirt.

Johnny Cash would be proud.

Okay, so maybe I'm not up to The Man in Black's standards, but I don't look like an inmate at Folsom Prison either, and that's good enough for me.

Unfortunately, when I step into the small office where I will be interviewing, I realize that I am the only person in the building not wearing a three piece suit.

David, the man interviewing me, is wearing a suit. He looks very professional. He also looks like he should still be in college, but who am I to judge? I just want a job.

"So I see you worked in Hollywood," he mentions, seemingly intrigued.

"Yeah, I was a production assistant on some reality shows."

"What do they pay out there?"

"I was usually making about $6oo a week," I reply, hoping to gauge the level of pay this position would offer.

"Really? That's all they pay out there?" he asks skeptically, as if I'd just told him I had been making minimum wage. That can't be a bad sign.

It also can't be a bad sign that David seems intrigued by my resume. I even explain Project Meaning, and that my travels searching for the meaning of life may mean my time in Houston will be cut short.

He nods. I brace myself for rejection. Instead, David just smiles.

"Forty two. That's the meaning of life."

"Right. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

"You get that reference?" David asks. "Very impressive."

And so the interview ends on a positive note.

On the hike back to the van, I smile. Maybe getting a job while doing this project won't be that hard after all.

A few hours later, I get a call from the office secretary.

"David was very impressed by you. He wants to schedule you for a second interview on Thursday."

Awesome.

"Oh," she says after a pause, "and he asked me to remind you to dress business professional."

Great. Time to buy a suit.